What is happiness or what exactly makes you happy in life? I know it’s a short question but has perhaps the longest answer that one can ever find. But is happiness based on your riches or materialistic achievements? Well, it’s neither of these, but the blessings that make you live the way you are, when many other who are more deserving than you cry their heart out and pray for being half as lucky as you are. Yet, we the humans, never say we are happy, but keep counting on what is missing from our lives, and blabber about the unfulfillment of a ton of selfish dreams. If I happen to count on mine, there would be endless broken dreams in my kitty; the much cherished ones that shattered away at various stages of my life. Yet I hardly count them and cry over spilled milk, instead try to live contented with what life has thrown at me. I am no exception to easily ditch and forget my broken dreams, but prefer to nurse my wounded soul with the balm of contentment from what I have in hand. Still, I sometimes falter and fall in to the ditch of distress, but soon rise ferociously from the ashes, as I know that I have to face the stumbling blocks all alone, walk or at times run my way to victory.
Whenever I see myself falling down to the ditch of sadness, I forcefully make myself count my blessings and make my mind believe that I am one of those lucky ones who shouldn’t lament but be joyous that I am truly blessed with countless things that are making my worth living. But as I said before, at times, the very human vulnerability to err make my mind shift to distress and worry on some of the problems that surround me. Yes, I sometimes cry my heart out for things that are beyond my control, but later get back to the road of hope, forcefully look at the better side of my life.
This is the third month of another extended year, and I am stuck-up with a number of worries, right from the dawn of the year. As my ‘bread-n-butter’ are severed in a frustratingly delaying time-span, I literally struggle everyday, to live-on with the limited ‘portion’ that I have in hand, cutting on many things that I long for, so that I can live a content life and at the same time save for myself a sizable quantum for the coming days. Although I’ve always had the dream of climbing the professional ladder on a swift pace, to becoming a stellar professional, I stand way too low on the ladder now, even after being equipped with strong arsenals of skills and experience. Thus I have a not so appealing graph, the reason why doldrums and anger intermittently monopolize my senses and make me taste the salt of my tears.
On a personal front I do have my own share of joys and sorrows, but at the same time have a very long singlehood that always sends in terrifying tingles that force me see some of the scariest nightmares of being left alone in the world, ending up in one of the old age homes. As we have one in our hostel, I am used to seeing the unsaid and unheard sorrows of a lot of old women who’ve been forced to live here, far away from their families. As I see them engrossed in their solitude, remembering the bygone days and shedding tears in silence, I cannot help but think about myself and the scare in my mind grows manifolds, overpowering all the delights that I should count on.
But if you ask me whether I am happy, I will undoubtedly say that I am as I am a contented person by ‘default’. However, it’s also true that at times, I cannot help but get fueled by some of these harsh realities that make me distressed and insecure occasionally, until I force myself to count on the better things, and drag me out of the pain. Therefore, defining happiness, in my case, has more or less become a complexity with a range of entangling thoughts and reasons that keep shifting my mind constantly from one to another. But as I said before, the overall result is always a happy me, as I have two main reasons to think so – I am blessed in very many ways, and I have to be happy and positive to move on and scale greater heights in life.
So is that a forcefully created one? To an extent it is. Because, I cannot plunge in to my sorrows and lose myself in the darkness of anguish, but has to walk through sharp stones and piercing thorns that life keeps throwing at me. And what continues keep me moving in that tough journey of mine is nothing but the pillar of positive thoughts that can make me latch on to the very core truth that I am blessed in very many ways when compared to a million others around, and can definitely hope for a day when the distressing problems take leave, leaving me some happier outcomes. For that reason, I continue to say this – Yes, I Am Happy! Yes, My Life Is Beautiful, In Spite Of All The Short-Term & Long-Term Worries That I have!